The missionary I had been waiting for (Darrell Richards) was finally home from his mission in Indonesia & I was excited to get reacquainted with him to see if there was anything to our longtime high school relationship. This missionary was less excited...in fact, he was not interested in me at all! I think he was afraid of me because I was ready to move on to what's next & he was trying to make up for lost time. He was more interested in all the things he missed while he was on his mission; his car, his friends, sports, music, fun, dating other girls...so we broke up.
I was hurt & it was a very difficult time for me, but you can't make someone love you. I dated & met lots of great guys that were interested in me, but I was a little gun shy after such a tough break up, & didn't encourage any of them.
Then one day while walking through the BYU Bookstore, I passed a guy that looked familiar. We made eye contact & I smiled as he passed by. I turned around to look & so did he...we made eye contact again & he smirked a cute little half smile. He looked like Darrell's roommate?
September 1976, I went by their apartment with my roommate, Kiki, to see if that was the guy in the bookstore. Another roommate, Jim Blaser, answered the door & let me in. He told me Darrell wasn't home & I said, "I didn't come to see Darrell." Jim's eyes bugged out as I walked in.
There HE was, standing in front of the sink, doing the dishes.
He said, "Hi, I'm Jeff Carter. That was you I saw in the bookstore, wasn't it?"
"It was," I said, "I'm Jenny Harwell."
"Oh, I know who you are," He said.
And Jim added, "Yes, we've heard stories, seen pictures, & read your letters for two whole years!"
"You read my letters?" I was so embarrassed as they both laughed & said it was great missionary entertainment. They all shared their letters from home - especially letters from girls! Then they told me one of their favorite stories was when a mutual friend they had met in the MTC told them about this girl his brother met & dated & was crazy about at BYU. They discovered that girl was me & Darrell was pissed! They were also entertained that Darrell had more than one girl waiting for him & writing him on his mission. I didn't enjoy being the focus of their entertainment so after exchanging insults, I left annoyed.
October 1976, Darrell & I had just got back from SLC, watching conference with his family and we were at their apartment. Although Darrell & I were technically not dating, his family had invited me to join them for conference. I had a long talk with Darrell's dad between sessions when we went for a walk. He told me that he loved me & he knew Heavenly Father had a plan for my happiness. So my roommate, Janeen, & I were flirting with Jeff, discussing "anatomy"- when I asked Jeff if he'd help me with "my anatomy" he said, "Sure!" Although he looked puzzled. I think he thought I was teasing him. So to make sure he knew I was serious, I called whims soon as Darrell took me home just so Jeff would know that I was interested. The whole week went by & nothing...
Finally, Jeff & Jim showed up at my place. My roommate, Nancy was giving them a hard time. We were trying to think of things to talk about - like music. He was a big Jethro Tull fan & I said, "Who?" He wasn't crazy about my music preferences either...Merle Haggard, John Denver, Bread, Elton John, Beatles. They thought we were being rude so they left. I felt bad, so for an excuse, I went to apologize. Poor Jeff didn't know how to act. I was "extra" nice & he wasn't getting the hint...then I kissed him. I'm pretty sure he got the hint then.
He was quiet & seemed shy one one one, but he called me later & asked me to go to an anatomy lecture with him because we would both get extra credit in our science classes for attending the lecture series. I said, "Are you asking me out on a date?" It took him off guard but he was quick on his feet & said, "I just thought we could study anatomy together...you know - you're a girl, I'm a guy- I'm sure we could help each other out." He was cute when he flirted with me.
Later that month, I wrote in my journal, "I think I've found a "honey"... Jeff Carter. (Darrell's missionary companion & roommate.) If I'm not careful, I'm gonna get hooked! I've been thinking about Jeff a lot today. I don't want to fall in love with him - I'm afraid of getting hurt. I've only been seeing him for a couple of weeks but it's happening too fast! He went to SLC this week to see his buddy, Bill Baer & give us a chance to think about our "situation." I told him not to call me unless he wanted to see me. I really like to be with him - it's almost scary! He's from Memphis, TN. YUK! I don't wanna fall in love with him - he's too far away from home! (I sure do hope he calls though.)"
The next few months were very confusing for me. I continued seeing Jeff & really liked him & it was weird to be developing feelings for him yet at the same time having difficulty understanding that things were over "just like that" with Darrell - he had consumed my life & thoughts for so long & had destroyed my ability to make sense of my feelings. But according to my journal, "Jeff treats me so good & I really enjoy being with him. I also feel like I'm behind my potential. I want to be the best I can possible be & if I'm going to have high standards for my eventual eternal partner, I owe it to him to live up to the same high standards & qualities. I figure I have to feel good about myself before I can feel good about giving of myself......Jeff deserves so much better than me - he's more than anyone could ask for & there's no reason why I should hesitate - so why am I? I'm not sure I'm good enough."
Just to be fair - here is what Jeff wrote about "how we met"...
"I first saw Jenny at BYU a couple of days after I had gotten there just after I had gotten home from Indonesia. I was in my apartment washing dishes when she and Kiki dropped by to see Darrell. I don't really remember much about that day except for the fact that they thought I was funny because I was washing the dishes. She came over a couple of times to talk to Blaser & I about Darrell. Blaser & I always wondered why Darrell went for Diana instead of Jenny. Anyway, Jen flirted with my roommates & I along the way so when she flirted with me, I just shrugged it off because I knew she didn't mean it. Blaser & I went over to visit Jenny in hopes that we might look her roommates over. They literally pounced on us as soon as we walked in & made fun of us the whole time we were there. I was mad & swore I'd never go over there again. Jenny then came back over & started with the flirting bit again & it went right down to the wire before I realized what was going on & I really wanted to get away. I didn't want anything to do with the girlfriend of one of my roommates. I could have killed Blaser when he got up & left me alone with her because then, Jenny attacked me & I had to kiss her, or should I say she kissed me! I was really suspicious that she was just trying to make Darrell jealous. She was persistent & I started to believe she meant it. Finally, we went to a neurosurgery lecture together (our first date, sort of). That was the beginning & it's been getting better ever since."
No comments:
Post a Comment