Jeff & I were spending everyday together. He played La Crosse for BYU. I enjoyed going to his games & watching him play. It's a brutal sport & Jeff is a very aggressive player. They asked me to take their team photo after one of their games. It ended up being in BYU's yearbook, The Banyan.
One evening we decided to go ring shopping. I had no idea what I wanted except gold, I knew I wanted gold - it has always looked more valuable than silver/white gold. In my mind, a wedding ring should be gold.
Jeff must have asked his dad for advice or told him our plans, etc. He let me read a letter his dad wrote to him & it confused me. It was innocent in that he was just giving him advice, but it made me feel so lousy & undeserving. Mr Carter kept referring to me questioningly saying, "Be sure she's the right one!" & I got the feeling he thought Jeff was rushing into marriage & wasn't taking Jeff (our plans) seriously. He made it sound as if I was pushing Jeff into it. I got the feeling his folks didn't think I was good enough for him. My insecurities are raw & I really felt like an outsider. Looking back, his concerns were valid - we'd only been dating since October!
My journal says this on 7 April 1977 - "We went & looked at rings last week. I told Jeff we should just get bands but he thought I needed a diamond to make it official. We found one we liked for $250.00 (most rings cost $350-$1000 or more!) - so Jeff called his Dad to ask him for a loan for the downpayment. He agreed to put $100.00 extra in the bank, but in his letter, he advised Jeff not to get a ring just yet. And to hold off making plans. There is only two weeks left of school to make plans! Then I'll be in California & he'll be in Tennessee for the summer. Then he hit Jeff with the bit about the only temple they could go to was the Washington DC Temple. I know I'm selfish & all, but we'll be living in Tennessee with his folks & they are able to go through any temple we decide on with us. I don't think it's too much to ask them to come to California where my mom might feel a little bit more a part of it all. The ring thing is no big deal. I'm disappointed because I did have my hopes up, but as far as being 'practical' (Jeff's dad suggested he should be more practical.) President Richards said that we need to think about my mom above all because she's not a member & it will most likely be the most difficult for her."
After discussing my feelings with Jeff, I felt better. He says that his dad is just blunt & not too tactful. He was just thinking of Jeff & wanted him to consider all the possibilities. It's a little disappointing that we won't get to do any planning together - we'll be so far apart! I'm not sure what mom's feelings are - she doesn't ever talk much. I think she's sad because I'll be so far away. In four short months, I'm going to the temple. In one week, Provo will be history! I'm one of those girls getting their "MRS" degree! Jeff is still talking about that ring. We went & looked at it again yesterday - I think he's going to get it!
17 April, 1977 - "As of last night, I am 'officially' engaged! No backing out now...Jeff has invested money in me! It's beautiful & it only cost $238.00. I'm so excited! After the La Crosse game, we went & got a root beer then went driving around. We drove up behind the Provo temple where those neat homes are & then he said, 'Let's go roll around in the temple yards.' I told him I didn't think that was an approved activity on the temple grounds. So we went & sat on the grounds. It was really a beautiful day! Piercing blue Utah sky accented the temple's awesomeness. I asked Jeff if he thought I'd make it through the temple. He said, 'Sure!' (He always says that!) It's such a big deal, the temple - it's so important to be ready!
Then Jeff asked, 'Do you still wanna marry me?'
Me, 'Yes!'
Jeff, 'Then I have something for you'...& he pulled the ring out of his pocket. I cried, of course, & went spastic! Then he put it on my finger & said he forgot to get on his knee - then proceeded to do so. He was cute & it was so neat & then I realized...'Oh, how Cougar!' Anytime something is 'typical BYU' we all say, 'Oh, how Cougar!' It was a typical BYU proposal on temple grounds - a big joke with most of us!"
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